Tune Thursdays: Danielle Hicks

MUSIC MATTERS: Danielle Hicks: From Georgia to NYC and Back

Writer Wednesdays: Jeff Herman

Jeff Herman is a godsend. He writes helpful books for writers about how to succeed in the industry with specific, useful information. I ordered his Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, & Literary Agents 2011 and it felt like Christmas morning. It's huge (1,094 pages!), and I have only read through the "Literary Agents" section, but just from that I already have several agents that I am going to contact that I think would be wonderful to work with AND might like my screenplay. Herman provides an interview with each that helps reveal their likes, dislikes, interests, and you get a feel for their personality just by their tone and how seriously they take his "So, how would you describe your job to entities from another planet?" question (one agent actually seemed angry about this question, which tells me that I do NOT want to work with someone with no sense of humor).

Not only is it informative, it is actually entertaining because Herman asks insightful and at times, slightly silly, questions so it doesn't read like a textbook or manual. I will tackle the other sections this week (Publishers, Independent Presses, University Presses, Canadian Book Publishers, Advice for Writers (definitely reading this one next!), and Independent Editors) but even if I didn't read another page, I feel like I already got my money's worth because I have a behind-the-curtain glimpse of hundreds of literary agents.

If (I should say WHEN, right?!) I find an agent to take on my screenplay and future projects, I feel I will owe Jeff Herman a huge thank you. Also, I will thank Skirt! magazine, Emily Giffin, and Claire Cook for emphasizing how helpful this book really is. If you have any writing aspirations, get it! It is more than worth the small price tag, and I intend to buy every edition for as long as I write (which will be forever I dare dream!). 

Taste Tuesdays: Innis and Gunn beer

I just discovered this very tasty beer this week, and I have already had four more of them at various points during said week. This is the Innis and Gunn Original and is described as a Scottish Oak Aged beer. Beer Advocate gives it a B+ (which means "very good"...getting an "A" on that thing seems harder than passing final exams!).

I like this beer simply because it is different. It has a slight sweetness but not in the gross cider-y way (sorry to any cider lovers out there) and not in a syrupy or fruity way. More of a caramely, smooth, slightly vanilla kind of sweet that many people say has a little hint of a whiskey flavor (hence, the oak aged-ness like whiskey is made in).

I am eager to try more Innis and Gunn concoctions, and I am quite impressed with Scotland's beers so far (I really like the Skull Splitter too--more on that another time). I also appreciated a good, organized, and helpful website, and there's does not disappoint. It even has food pairings and other fun stuff on there, recommending barbeque or roasted meat, any stew, seared scallops and pancetta or haddock or lemon sole in a beer batter, tomato-based curries, and (I quote): "Crème brulee, rice pudding, crème caramel, bread and butter pudding, chocolate bread and butter pudding, banana custard, panacotta, honey and yoghurt, treacle tart, creme anglaise, Bakewell tart, tarte tatin, poire tatin, and dark chocolate with orange peel." Now if you are thinking, GROSS, beer and dessert?! Then you have to go back and read my "Beer and...Dessert?!" post.

Yum, yum, and more yum. Enjoy!

Movie Mondays: Just Go With It

I will watch any movie that Adam Sandler is in because (a) they are usually funny (b) they also teach some type of lesson(s) and (c) he seems like a really freaking nice guy what with having his friends in his movies, collaborating with all types of comedians, and just generally willing to make fun of himself and maintains (at least from the outside looking in) a humbleness. My favorite Adam Sandler is 50 First Dates, but Happy Gilmore, Wedding Singer, Click, and now Just Go With It are favorites too.

Just Go With It starts off with a Wedding Singer-looking Adam Sandler with a ridiculous huge nose (like, way over the top, totally unnecessary but still pretty funny) overhearing his bride-to-be badmouthing him and confessing she cheated on him the previous night minutes before they are supposed to walk down the aisle. So, he goes to the bar to nurse his emotional wounds and a hot woman (Minka Kelly-I think she is drop-dead gorgeous!) sees his wedding ring and assumes he is married, which makes her want to sleep with him (and his big nose) immediately.

Fast-forward fifteen years and Adam Sandler's character is still using the "I'm married" trick to score ladies. His latest conquest actually gets upset that he is "married" when she finds his prop ring. Thus he has to come up with a fake wife and turns to his assistant (he's a plastic surgeon--cue the obvious superficial connection between his career and dating habits!) and confidante played by a refreshingly quirky, slightly dowdier, and way more relaxed Jennifer Aniston. I have to admit, I am not usually a big Aniston fan in movies (loved Rachel though!) because she just seems so darn uptight and superficial. This was the first movie she just felt real  or maybe I should say less contrived. And the banter between her and Adam Sandler appeared totally natural and if anything, I'm thinking they did a lot of improv that found its way into the final cut.

So, Adam Sandler plays another guy with deep-down a heart of gold who ends up doing the right thing (I'm not going to tell you what that thing is though!) and Aniston plays a likable character in a fun, slightly far-fetched situation which adds to the comedy plot. This movie and Adam Sandler in general encourages me to find the humor in everything and go for the big laughs in my own writing.

Happy watching!

Sightseeing Sundays: Italy (part 1 of 4)

 Ahh, Italy. We started this adventure in Rome which of course is a must-see but honestly, if I get the chance to go back to Italy, I will stay in the heart of Rome instead of 30 minutes outside of town just to save a few bucks. Totally not worth it! We toured the Coliseum, and I was surprised by the exposed labyrinth underneath--I could envision the fear and terror of the awaiting gladiators/slaves as they prepared for possible death on the stage above. We also saw the Pantheon, the Vatican and Sistine Chapel which was of course amazing. But, more amazing than the artwork itself was the realization that I was experiencing something so many great minds had saw and just the sheer number of eyes that had looked up at the ceiling made me feel connected to so many people all at once. It also made me wistful for the time when art, deep thinking, and creativity were more highly valued.

But the best experience we had in Rome was stumbling into a little restaurant where there was absolutely no English written or spoken. This meant a lot of pointing, gesturing, and trying food blindly. The house red was full-bodied and heavenly. The gnocchi was by far the best choice--huge, plump and soft without being mushy and ended up being the best meal of the whole trip! And it was so fun giving the waiter/owner/chef  (yes he did it all, and all by himself!) praise after with our inept gesturing. A big grin spread across his face as we showed our approval and ordered a second carafe of wine!

Of course, Rome is inspiring, historic, mesmerizing...but it is huge, crowded city. I prefer the sleepier areas, like San Marino, and where I can walk everywhere easily and just sit in awe of the countryside while of course drinking copious amounts of wine (the house red and white wines are cheaper than ordering water--twist my arm?!)! I was also glad that I had a little knowledge of Roman mythology since a lot of statues scattered everywhere are unmarked or without English translation, so I definitely recommend a little pre-reading before you go.

"Veni, vidi, vici."

 

Soul Saturday: Parenthood (the tv show)

I am not a parent, but this show is about everything, not just parenting. I usually cry at the end of every episode, but not in a sad, this-is-depressing way but in a this-is-heartfelt-and-real-and-uplifting way. Each week, the show is more like a movie than a tv show to me. The writers are geniuses in my book because they come up with rich, complex, and authentic storylines week after week.

The Braverman's are a big family with the patriarch Zeek played by a surly yet sweet and definitely sarcastic Craig T. Nelson married to Camille. Their grown children all live in the same city, with the eldest and central focus of the show being Adam and his wife Kristina as they deal with a teenage daughter and raising their son who has Autism, plus one (unexpected!) baby on the way. Next is Sarah, a single mom with a rock-star groupie past raising two outsider teens. Then the super-successful third child, Julia, is a lawyer with the perfect husband and pretentious only daughter. Last is Crosby, who has always been treated like a baby and still has a lot of growing up to do even though he is in his thirties.

This family interacts with blunt honesty yet total support of one another. My favorite aspect of the show is the interaction between the siblings. They still bicker and compete with each other and are constantly kicking each other in the ass when necessary. But the love and friendship between them is truly heartwarming and touches my soul every single week. I wish there was no hiatus so I could get my dose every week. I can honestly say that there has never been an episode I didn't like, and the acting, writing, heck, even scene settings are all inspiring. Bringing this group of people together and showing a raw and very real family navigate life together was utter genius by the creators. Check it out this fall season and let me know what you think!

Fiction Fridays: Good in Bed

Good in Bed is the first Jennifer Weiner brillance I read, and I have remained hooked on her writing. She makes Cannie, the neurotic, sometimes manic, definitely obsessive main character absolutely lovable and sympathetic minus the pathetic (well, most of the time). Cannie puts herself down because she is overweight, but who can blame her when weightism is rapant? Even her own ex-boyfriend talks about her size and how she is still "good in bed" even though she is a big girl. Talk about crushing.

Weiner's character development is her strongest skill--you love Cannie most of the time but sometimes want to strangle her; you hate her ex-boyfriend except for the times that you can't; and you dive into depression with Cannie for a little while which makes the happy moments even sweeter. The plot also keeps you engaged the whole time, and the twist at the end is surprising and heartwrenching. The lesson is that just because we are seemingly content doesn't mean we are living the best life we could be, so sometimes pain, tragedy, and surprises are necessary to shake us out of our complacency and help us end up in a better place than we imagined for ourselves.

Although Weiner is known more for her book turned movie In Her Shoes, Weiner currently has a new television show that she writes for called Georgia, and her other novels Little Earthquakes, Goodnight Nobody, The Guy Not Taken, Certain Girls, Best Friends Forever, Fly Away Home, and Then Came Home. She is also an author that is hilarious to follow on Twitter and seems to want other writers to succeed.

Tune Thursdays: Eric Culberson

Eric Culberson: Blues jamming with a soulful voice

MUSIC MATTERS

Writer Wednesdays: Jessica Hulett

If you have never read the "Bedroom Blog" on Cosmopolitan.com, definitely check it out. I have been a faithful reader for years, and I check for a new post everyday (even though there are usually only 1-3 new posts a week). It used to be an anonymous blog under the main characters initial, K, and I think in the last year the real author, Jessica Hulett, started being listed. If you are writing for Cosmo, I'm sure being anonymous for a little while is completely worth it.

I enjoy reading this fictional blog for several reasons. The character of "K" is someone I want to be friends with because she screws up, overanalyzes everything, values fun and experience over stuff, and is just a very authentic late twenty/early thirtysomething. She also spills it all--insecurities, tough career and relationship issues, friendship insights...and she handles it all with a sense of humor and while being humble and just a little on the crazy side at times.

Besides the character/narrator, I have enjoyed how this blog tackles the theme of coming of age. Often when we hear that term, we think young adult fiction. However, there are really two major points of coming of age...the teen to adult, and then the young adult to much more together adult. K is in part two, and she has really hit her stride recently in both her career and personal life (which sadly makes me think that this blog won't be around much longer....but we'll see). She had a high-powered job with a bigger company and instead of staying, she took a leap of faith and moved to a start-up documentary production company. Inspring! The message is, if you don't love your job, you should get out ASAP because the stress of trying to save for retirement so you can quit said job will be your major focus. However, if you jump into a profession you love, you won't be desperately counting down to retirement because you could see yourself doing this job, even if in a lesser capacity, for a long, long time.

What started out as a dating blog about the ups and downs in life and between the sheets for K has slowly progressed into a more personal and well-rounded weekly reading treat for me. If you have never read it, start from the first blog and work your way to the most recent. It will definitely take you a few sittings but just think of it as reading a novel that does not yet have an ending (which just adds to the anticipation!).

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/bedroom-blog/

Taste Tuesdays: Your Pie

Your Pie is a new order-and-add pizza franchise much like a Quiznos or Subway where the pizza starts with a 10-inch dough, then you can either make your own by adding ingredients or ask for one of their specialty pizzas that they have tried and tested for deliciousness. The concept is genius, giving everyone the opportunity to get whatever they like on their own personal pizza instead of compromising with friends or family about what toppings to add. I ordered "The Nat"--one of their "our favorites"--with chicken, pesto, cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, spinach and a few cheeses. They also have calzones, bread bowl salads, paninis, and Gelato. An added bonus besides the wonderful pizzas with fresh ingredients and a personal touch? They have a good craft beer selection that perfectly compliments your personal pizza. Magnifico!

It started in Athens, Georgia and has spread up to Tennessee, down to Florida, and next over to Alabama, taking the South by storm. The average investment ranges from $160,000-$325,000, and there are only 8 locations currently open, with 9 more scheduled to open soon. The Savannah owner, Paul Childers, told South Magazine his downtown location is doing well making about 160 pizzas a day--well enough that he wants to eventually open a few more Your Pie's in the Savannah. Savannahians are obviously happy for this new restaurant!


http://yourpie.com/

Movie Mondays: Somewhere

Sofia Coppola's Somewhere kept popping into my radar in the past few week's, once on John August's blog which I read faithfully, as a trailer when we rented something else, and in a review. I try to pay attention to synchronicity in threes or more, so I felt compelled to watch and rent this film. I went in with the expectation that it would be artsy since it's from Coppola, which it definitely is. I also wanted to watch it because on the John August blog I mentioned, someone asked if a new screenwriter could get away with a script that short--I think it was only 44 pages--since most screenplays are over 100 pages (mine is clocking in at 175 which alas is too long and needs to be edited down a little). I wanted to see how a 44 page screenplay translated on the screen, and my answer is very little dialogue, lots of setting and quiet scenes. This was useful for me to think about because my screenplay is almost all words (duh, but I may need to add in a few more "just setting" type scenes).

This movie is well-done and gives a behind-the-scene glimpse at how lonely the life of a "celebrity" can be. Partying with people that you don't even know or care what their name is, calling hookers/strippers to come perform in his hotel, sleeping with an up-and-coming actress across the hall after only speaking for about ten seconds, having "yes men" surrounding you...it is a very dismal, depressing view of the celebrity world. I can see now why a lot of people in Hollywood rush into marriage to combat the loneliness.

On top of this, being an absentee parent and how that affects your children is also analyzed. Deep, dark, yet hopeful at the end (I think?!), I like the microscopic focus on the life of a celebrity which is so often glamorized and wished for when in reality, life can be pretty crappy for anyone. Coppola seems to suggest that we get the life we deserve and at the root of it all is the question, "Are you a good person?" You should be able to answer a resounding "yes," and if you can't, do something about it.

P.S. Dakota Fanning's little sis is the child in the film, and she does a knock-out job--giggling, cooking, crying, and overall being very poised and playing the "together" child with the out-of-control parents yet there is a layer of vulnerability to her and just a hint of entitlement (which really isn't her fault growing up as her character does).

Sightseeing Sundays: Chattooga River Whitewater Rafting

“Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Chattooga River, about an hour north of Charleston, South Carolina, has some awesome rapids for whitewater rafting. We went a few years ago, and out of the three rivers I have rafted, it was by far the best. When I say best, I mean most intense because I love the more difficult, higher level rapids. At one point, I fell out like a turtle on its back flat onto a huge rock with my legs still in the boat and the water rushing over us so bad that I couldn't pull myself back up. And this happened at the exact moment after our guide had just said, "This is the spot you definitely do not want to fall out at" because there was a big whirlpool that sucks you down.

This river was of course gorgeous, but it also had some fun elements that I hadn't experienced before like a spot where you could "surf" with your raft. Basically, we had to paddle with our all might up the river into this real strong area of current and then the water would slingshot us down a good part of the river. Some of the rafts couldn't do it, but we made it! Great fun.

We camped the night before and night after in this primitive campground area for free. I tell you, there is something scary about camping primitive, very horror-movie-ish. But the sense of freedom, like no one else exists in the world for a day, made the experience worth it. It just made us want to scream at the top of our lungs! If you are the least bit adventures and adrenaline-loving and haven't been whitewater rafting yet, do it. You can find a place with lower level rapids to start if you are scared. I've even gone with my mom on a different river, and she is no daredevil. It is just one of those experiences that everyone should have at least once. Trying something new and getting your heart racing a little makes you appreciate your life even more.

For Chattooga River whitewater rafting, check out WildWater Chattooga Ridge Adventure Center. They rock! There is also a list of lodging for campgrounds, bed and breakfasts, and cabins.

P.S. This is also where they filmed Deliverance--there is a dark side to inspiration!

Soul Saturdays: 4 Life Perspectives

Last week at the Skirt! Magazine Writer's Conference, a very cool, inspirational woman named Michelle Goss gave a wonderful seminar. Her message was about the four life perspectives that we all can or do live in and function through at some point in our lives, and which one(s) are the most powerful of these four. This seminar truly inspired me and has challenged my worldview. The four stages are:

1. Victim--people who act from this point of view always whine, "Why does this happen to me?" and expect others to save them. They intentionally or unintentionally play up being weak so that others will step up in their life and fill voids. They also hide behind fear instead of going after what they want. They also tend to focus on the past or future.

2. Champion--this person tries to save everyone and be the rock. This means that they are often depleted, don't focus on themselves enough, and see life as a series of problems that they must fix. They are totally focused on the future and trying to see the next ten problems before they even occur.

3. Spiritual Adult--the mantra to stay here is, "Life is an ally that gives me feedback to grow and change." This state of being is the first step to reaching your full potential and is embedded in the present.

4. Soul--This perspective views life as a mystery and everything is connected. This perspective is also rooted in the present with the thought that each day, something wonderful can and will happen.

Obviously 1 & 2 types depend on each other. In an odd way, three and four are hyper-focused on the individual and some people at times feel selfish staying in 3 & 4 instead of being the Champion for others. However, the truth is that playing the Champion causes resentment for both parties because behaving this way essentially says that you don't believe in the person you are helping's ability to take care of themselves.

I have definitely approached life with the Champion mentality for far too long. I actually started realizing a few months ago that I can't always says yes and that sometimes I have to be a little selfish with my time and energy in order to accomplish my goals. Now, I have a philosophy to learn from and grow through so I can reach my full potential, let other people take care of themselves because I know they can, and reach my goals of becoming a full-time, successful writer. This session was truly powerful and life-changing and life-affirming for me. Thank you Michelle!

Which way defines YOU? Which way do you WANT to live? Make it happen and check our her website here for more guidance and tips.

Fiction Fridays: Something Borrowed

Last weekend at the Skirt! Conference in Atlanta, I picked up Emily Giffin's Something Borrowed basically so I could have it signed and get a chance to meet her (authors are huge celebrities to me--I think I get more excited to meet them than I would maybe even Matt Damon...well, almost : ) ). Gladly I wasn't disappointed. I actually completely love the character of Rachel because as those of you that know me or have read my blogs know, I love the flawed heroine. I couldn't help but root for Rachel even though she was essentially trying to steal her best friend's fiancee. For Giffin to make her likable despite this crucial flaw is a feat and a great example of layered character development.

Rachel is always the good girl--good grades, good attitude, always a champion for everyone else, and basically has never thought she was truly good enough because her supposed best friend (which, to be frank, was only her best friend because they grew up together) was always outshining her in looks, attention, comebacks and anything else social skills focused. Although Rachel did get better grades and have a better work ethic, these supposed "boring" traits are what make her so likable and of course reliable.

Another tactic that Giffin used to pull readers in immediately is by dropping a huge bomb in chapter one. She starts by creating sympathy with readers: "I was in the fifth grade the first time I thought about turning thirty." Talk about instant connection! All women I know whether they like to admit it verbally or not have trepidation about the big 3-0. For this main character to have been struggling with this number since five years old makes me feel for her since I didn't start hyperventilating about thirty until I turned 25. So now that we already like Rachel for admitting her fear of aging, Giffin drops the aforementioned bomb in the last sentence of chapter one: "And then, somehow, I am having sex with my best friend's fiancé." WHAT?! The nice girl? The girl everyone counts on? The pale, soft, average looking underdog and sidekick?! How can you not want to read the whole book in one sitting to find out what happens?

Even though this book falls under the genre of romantic comedy, the real theme is friendship. I am a sucker for any book or movie that attempts to dissect the relationships we create as humans--their complexity, the confusion they cause, the motives, and really, what makes a good relationship. For Rachel and Darcy, they were friends by geography, and they just assumed they should remain friends when the truth is, Rachel had outgrown Darcy, and they both had friends in their lives that they had made since childhood that were much better suited to their personalities. Although the scandalous story obviously is the eye-catching part of the book, this focus on friendship encourages audiences to really look at who they have let into their lives (for more commentary on this topic, check out this former post).

I sort of wish Darcy wasn't made into a major villain at the end of the book because I had already forgiven Rachel and Dex for their behavior by then (guess I will just have to read Something Blue to hear Darcy's side of the story!), but I did enjoy the book from start to finish and felt like it was definitely an intellectual step up from some of the fluffy "chicklit" that's out there because Giffin is an excellent writer whose smoothness, timing, and plot/character development are truly impressive. I am so glad to have discovered her, and I am thrilled to have four more books on my immediate "to read" list (the mentioned Something Blue and The Heart of the Matter, Babyproof, and Love the One Your With). I hope you pick up one of these this summer (start with Something Borrowed and you'll want to read the other four too!).

Tune Thursdays: Bottles & Cans

These guys will make you tap your feet, bob your head, and feel really groovy with their bluesy, jazzy, jamming sound:

Music Matters: Bottles & Cans

http://bottlesncans.com/

Writer Wednesdays: Claire Cook

Claire Cook is one of the most generous, kind-hearted people I have ever had the pleasure of hearing speak. This weekend at the first annual Skirt! Creative Conference, and Ms. Cook took time out of her busy schedule to give us a two hour presentation about her experiences in the literary world. She genuinely hopes for success for each of the writers that were at the conference, and she hugged every single person after signing our books. I felt like I had an advocate in my corner, someone who is real, inspirational, and truly wants everyone to have the good fortune and happiness that she has experienced due to her writing career. I will be buying every single one of her books for myself and as gifts for others not only due to her storytelling skills and the authentic voices of her characters, but also for the person that she is.

On to her writing. I am currently reading Best Staged Plans, and I am in love with the double meaning title alone. The main character, Sandy, is a house stager, meaning she helps sellers stage their homes for a quicker sale, but also relates to the saying "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry" because the life Sandy has been building is no longer leading to the future she wants. This character is so real, you want to hire her, and that's what helps make Claire's writing style intriguing. Plus, Claire chooses interesting, relevant jobs, situations, and hobbies for her characters that are relevant and give a peek into various trends, lifestyles, and careers.

I also am loving this flawed heroine (I like flawed everything!). This character is a quirky mom--a little scatterbrained, big-hearted, idealistic, and unsatisfied with her current lot in life because it has become dull, routine, and just too cumbersome. She wants to simplify (don't we all?) and downsize--being the matriarch has ran its toll, and she is ready for new adventures and less responsibility. In no way does she have it all together, but that's what makes her lovable. Her mistakes, her inner monologue, her struggles to make decisions are all authentic and interesting. The workings of the human mind are definitely one of the most fascinating subject matters to me, and Claire explores the female psyche and all the million thoughts that run through our head with Sandy, who is basically having a mid-life crisis and just wants to be a little more selfish with her time and energy. Of course, no one understands because she has been the champion for each of them forever.

Another techniques that Claire shared with us is keeping her chapters short and snappy. She feels readers should want to keep reading, have no time to get bored, and keep anticipation high. This works wonderfully in this book with its ten pages or shorter chapters. I find myself saying, "Just one more chapter" because they are short and sweet (but I usually keep going!).

If you haven't read any Claire Cook novels, definitely pick one up: Must Love Dogs is her claim to fame, but she has seven others (including Best Staged Plans): Life's a Beach, Seven Year Switch, Summer Blowout, The Wildwater Walking Club, Multiple Choice, Ready to Fall. All with strong female characters and fast-pace. And feel good that you are supporting a writer that loves her craft, wants to share her secrets to success, and truly hopes that everyone who wants to write can be the on New York Times Bestseller List.

Taste Tuesdays: Vintage 59 Winery

Us creatives love our wine (I cracked up in Eat, Pray, Love when she points to the bottle of wine and says, "therapist"). So last night was a treat as a local alcohol retailer hosted a wine tasting, which he does every so often and only asks for a donation (most people giving about $10). We tried 10 different wines for the featured winery, Vintage 59 out of France, none of which I fell in love with, but I did extremely enjoy these three:

1. Red: Domaine de la Chevalerie Les Galichets, Bourgeuil--this is a Cabernet Franc which was a first for me and is heavy and earthy due to being grown on a stony sand clay that rests on limestone. Would need to be drank on its own after dinner, or with red meats for $29.99 a bottle.

2. Red: Domaine Richeaume, Cotes de Provence--this was my favorite wine of the night; a blend of Cabernet and Grenache with less mineral taste and a nice big, smooth flavor. Would be great with anything, anytime for $29.99.

3. I am a champagne girl and probably prefer it to wine (although I don't usually buy it or order it...and I have no idea why?!) so the Champagne Barnaut Blanc de Noirs was my favorite overall beverage of the evening. Fruity with a pear taste jumping out to me the most, it was simply delicious and light, and had a slightly more wine element than standard champagne. I could drink this anytime, but of course it was the most expensive at $52.99!

Wine tastings are such a fun, creative way to hang out with friends because you get to talking about tastes, smells, and who has traveled to where the wines are from. It's creativity for the tongue!

Movie Mondays: New focus! Good Will Hunting

Today is the first day of "Movie Mondays" as I just returned from an unbelievable, life-changing writers' conference in Atlanta hosted by Skirt! Magazine and have decided to shift the focus of my blog slightly to connect more with the creative community (including people who think they are non-creative that wish they were more creative!). My goal is to sort through all the "stuff:" that is out there and reveal, more than review, inspirational pieces that touch me and my creative spirit that I hope will do the same for you. Some of you might be coming here to read "Marriage Mondays," so please click on the hyperlink to read some entries from the past that you might have missed. We are going to continue to work on Marriage blogs and articles, and I will keep you posted on when we have a new home for this material which hopefully will be very soon.

For my first Movie Monday, I want to share one of my all-time favorite movies, Good Will Hunting. I love this movie for so many reasons...Matt Damon and Ben Affleck wrote it together as young, bright-eyed twentysomethings, the acting, Robin Williams in one of if not his best role, and the delve into the psyche of a genius. Even more than these aspects, the movie touches me at my core because it is about the baggage we carry, burdens we bear, and the layers that all people are made up of.

This movie reminds me that too often, we judge someone quickly and then keep them in that box, not noticing when they grow, how perceptive they are, or when they are struggling and need us to step in and help. Without Robin William's character Dr. Maguire, would Will Hunting have became the man he did? The importance of taking advantage of interacting with the right people and getting the most out of your relationships becomes abundantly clear with their therapeutic sessions.

I have also always loved the "flawed hero" that has a soul, struggles with a sense of identity, and does the right thing. The message is that even though they have made mistakes and made bad decisions, at their core they are a good person. Much like Randal McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Will Hunting is an imperfect hero in the sense that he is brave enough to do what he has to do, which is save himself. In saving himself, he also helps inspire his friends, girlfriend, and his own therapist.

The character development and analysis, the sense of competition yet support between friends, and the concept of overcoming extremely difficult life events with humor and intelligence are all fascinating aspects of this movie. The themes and duality of friendship, identity, coming to terms with one's childhood, failure, and love all teach lessons about doing the things that scares you because those are the things that you are meant to do. This good kind of fear is just an indicator that you are on the right path, just like Will when he heads out to California to "go see about a girl."

P.S. If you have written a story and are having trouble with the ending, steal the final scene from Good Will Hunting (which also is the ending for Cruel Intentions and I'm sure countless others): Have your main character drive off into the sunset with the hope and promise of good things to come out before them and let the audiences' imaginations run wild.

Sightseeing Sundays: Our Next Big Trip

I thought I would take today to talk about a place that we really want to go next: Ireland. We have made a promise to each other to try and go on a big trip every few years (maybe one day, every year!) and next year, we are trying to save up a trip to roadtrip through Ireland for a few weeks. Rick Steves has an in-depth guide of how to do your very own roadtrip experiencing all the best stops, b&b's, and of course, the pubs.

In doing research, I found that plane tickets are half the cost, or around $700, from October to May. The trip overall would be pretty affordable in terms of an international trip, and Gary is of Irish descent and it would be so amazing to see his ancestors "homeland" and maybe even meet some Russells while we are there. We even rented the horrible movie Leap Year just to catch more glimpses of Ireland. One of my favorite movies is P.S. I Love You, which of course has quite a few scenes in Ireland.

Have any of you been to Ireland yet and have any "must-sees?" Where is your next big adventure to?

Savannah Saturdays: Little Tybee Island

This week, I had the insane pleasure of kayaking over to Little Tybee Island from a launch on the back river side. We went during high tide which meant that we experienced giant waves, the sandbar that is usually there was nearly completely covered, and we saw nearly 10 dolphins during our around 4 hour excursion. We beached our kayaks on the remote, completely deserted, and zero commercialized Little Tybee Island. I felt like we were on the Blue Lagoon set or like Adam and Eve. It was so an awe-inspiring experience, like maybe this island has always been there, just like this, untouched, beautiful, serene--a true little paradise like a present day Garden of Eden. Some of my favorite places on the planet are places that maybe, just maybe, are in their natural state like they have always been just this way from the beginning of time.

If I owned a kayak and lived closer, I would probably kayak out there nearly ever day. Just to have complete and utter peace, time to think, and time to just be in the presence of beauty and serenity. I felt like a different person after getting off that beach--the nagging everyday worries just seem to melt away. I guess since going there every day isn't possible for everyone, including me, the goal is to find a little slice of heaven in your own neck of the woods--no cell phone, laptop, people...maybe it's just a hot bath, or your backyard, or doing some yoga. But you deserve to find your own little spot, even if it's just for a few minutes a day, as it will help you feel more balanced and sane.

(non)Fiction Fridays: Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

Disclaimer: I rarely watch Chelsea Lately (my mom loves the show) and have not seen her stand-up. But, I have read all of her books. Her latest book, Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me, has just been recently in time for beach season. These books are disturbingly hilarious, completely candid, and make you feel better about everything bad you have ever done in your life. This book is a departure from her autobiographical style of her other three previous books: Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea; My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands; and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang. Instead, her friends and family gathered together to write a collection of short stories about the personal and/or professional hell that she has put them through since they've known her. In the case of her siblings, she has been torturing them basically since her birth.

You will laugh aloud throughout reading this book. Each chapter is short, easy to read, and makes you wish that everyone in your life was as understanding and willing to put up with your harmless shenanigans and flaws in comparison to Chelsea's all-out disdain for manners or the concept of privacy. I feel like anything is possible after reading her books because despite all her bad decisions and complete disdain for propriety, look at her--she is still very successful, has a fiercely loyal inner circle, and knows how to enjoy life to the absolute fullest. One of the contributors said they have never seen anyone laugh more on a day-to-day basis than Chelsea which is a very admirable trait in my book. Yes, these books are silly and that's the point. So lighten up and indulge in a little guilty pleasure this summer with any or all of Ms. Handler's hilarious musings.

Tune Thursdays: Brian McGee: Americana Rockin'

Music Matters: Brian McGee: This Saturday at Sentient Bean

Whatever Wednesdays: The Importance of Girls' Night IN

Girls' night. Maybe this means going out for drinks and appetizers at a cute, chic place ( I'm not sure why we usually only get appetizers instead of a whole meal of food?). Or maybe going to see a chick flick that you can't drag your guy to. But to me, the best girls' nights are the ones where you just stay in, crack bottles of wine or some beers, and do what we do best: TALK!

I'm not saying to never go out because there is always tons of fun stuff to do. But mixing in some nights staying in helps strengthen the friendships and learn more about each other. There is something about being at one of your homes, in comfy clothes, not worrying about who else is around, and just totally focusing on each other and your untold stories that makes girls' nights in the best kind.

Taste Tuesdays: Beer Glasses (Not Those Kind!)

In the last few years when we have really started trying a wide variety of craft beers, one thing I've learned is that good beers really do need to be drank out of a glass, preferably a specific glass that is designed for that specific beer or at the very least that type of beer. Most of us have seen the Sam Adams commercial where they show-off their special Boston Lager glass (see left):
 
 But the real shocker is that these glasses ACTUALLY work! Much like different sizes and shapes of wine glasses, what you drink your beer out of can greatly improve the taste of the beer. For many of the craft beers, which are higher-gravity, higher alcohol content, basically heavier beer, they really need to breathe before you drink it. Even drinking a regular, well-known domestic beer like Miller or Bud will taste better in a pilsner shaped glass. Try it to believe it!


Here are a few different sizes and shapes of beer glasses we have started to collect, each designed for a specific brew or type of beer. From left to right: Stone Vertical Epic Ale, Delerium Tremens, Guinness, Victory Golden Monkey, and a pilsner glass.

Marriage Mondays: Money Talks (revisited)

When I first started writing this blog, Gary did not co-write the Marriage Mondays. So, I thought it would be helpful to go back and get his take on some of my earlier topics. Here's his side plus my original post below it:

HE SAID: 
When Shawndra and I first were married, money was a hot button topic.  First, we did not have a lot.  Second, doling it out was very tricky.  We tried a number of different systems (we still are fine tuning), but we finally have a good system in place.  Once a month we discuss all of the foreseeable bills.  We go over how much we have, versus how much we can spend.  It's not a perfect system, since there are always the unforeseen(s): new tires, air conditioner repairs, etc.  But, what makes it work for us is that we have the same goals in mind with our money.  We always set aside a portion for each of us to use as "fun money."  That is to be used however we want.  It helps to have this so neither of us feels completely trapped in our money matters.  We still have a little freedom, but we are normally very frugal.  Like most couples, we have student loans, a mortgage, and all those other bills that you wish you did not have to pay.  But having that little bit of fun money takes the burden off paying all of those off.  Shawndra is the brains behind all of this.  I really can take no credit, except for the fact that I agreed with her financial system.  It may seem taboo for some folks that Shawndra is steering our financial plan, but she really is more diligent and practical with it.  I am a spender and she is more of a saver.  I guess, like most things in our relationship, it works because we really balance each other out.  We still argue from time to time about our finances, but not like we did in the early years of our marriage.  And for that I can thank Shawndra--again.


SHE SAID:
Everyone knows that one of the things couples disagree about the most (and one of the main causes of divorce) is money. How to save it, what to spend it on, how to divide it up, who pays for what, etc. etc. I'm lucky (not sure if my husband feels this way!) because I am the "money person" in our relationship, meaning that I am a saver thanks to my inherited desire to save like my dad. I have always tried to save at least 10% of our salaries (more whenever I can swing it!) and have always been frugal when it comes to buying "stuff" (aka clothes, shoes, stuff for the house). For example, our microwave blew up (and I mean, it looked like two miniature people were having a light saber fight inside) about two months ago. Most people would just go out and buy a new one, but we have just been using the stove instead and really don't miss having a microwave (except for my morning and evening of green tea has suffered a bit). Some people might say this is cheap, but we just say its frugal. We would rather spend money on activities and vacations rather than "stuff" whenever we can avoid it. But that's just us. The point is, being on the same page about what to spend money on has really helped us cut down on money fights. And, starting a few months ago, we have a weekly planning session over breakfast each weekend about the upcoming week--bills that need paid, what we are going to spend money on this weekend, how much we are saving, etc. These money talks have made me feel closer to my husband because I feel like we are on the same team and the burden of managing our money is not just resting on my shoulders. So, if managing your money is something you struggle with in your relationship, consider having a weekly open and honest discussion about it. Happy saving!

You might also like reading:
http://www.suite101.com/content/5-new-years-resolutions-for-my-marriage-a332797

Sightseeing Sundays: Munich (Europe Part 6 of 6)

Munich...the last stop of our whirlwind trip which had us feeling bittersweet because we were not even close to being ready for our vacation to end. We easily could have stayed in Europe another two weeks, two months...maybe even indefinitely. Anyway, we arrived to Munich very early after departing Vienna late the night before (almost missing the train!). We were exhausted, tired, hungry, and needed a shower badly.

We instantly got very lost trying to find our lodging for our two days in Munich. We splurged a little more here because it was our anniversary, so we got an apartment-like place with a small kitchen and back patio (still very reasonable and on the outskirts of town) called Hotel Gastehaus Englischr Garten. It was cute and cozy and right near the huge Englischer Garten where the locals frolicked, and where we experienced our first true beer garden.

In all our stops, Munich felt the most like America. People in suits, briefcase in hand, rushing to work. Less leisure, more seriousness during the day. But then the European feel would come roaring back in the evening as everyone set down to 3-4 hour dinners with their friends and family and plenty of wine or beer (why do we eat so fast in America?) Why don't we have these wonderfully long meals filled with meaningful conversation, with not one person playing on their cell phone while in the company of others?

We were lazier in Munich about sightseeing and instead just tried to behave like locals. Walking up the street for coffee, looking in bookstores, walking through the park, going to the grocery...we did go up into an old tower and of course went to some beer gardens and halls, but mostly, we just tried to soak everything in and stay warm since it was very chilly in July and we didn't bring anything warm to wear and didn't feel like buying something else to lug home. Munich definitely left us longing for a trip back to Germany to visit some of the older, more traditional German cities because it's much more modern than we envisioned.

Savannah Saturdays: Annual SCAD graduation concert

Yesterday was the annual New Alumni Savannah College of Art and Design Concert. It's a free concert in huge Forsyth Park, and every square inch of grass is covered with chairs, sheets, picnics, beer pong tables, grills, etc. Although a lot of the concert goes unwatched and un-listened to because everyone is socializing, it is a great event. Everyone cuts loose and gets in touch with their inner hippie child--shoes off, dancing around, passing drinks, and basically They always get a pretty big, up and coming band to come play (did I mention for free?!), and this year was The Guv'nahs and the Cold War Kids known for "Hang Me Out to Dry," "Louder Than Ever," and "Audience." They are folk pop, fun, funky with a touch Beastie Boys sound.

Find a fun, maybe even free event in your neck of the woods this week!

Try these two websites to get started: Upcoming: Events and Things to Do or Eventful.com.

Today's Ehow articles:

How to Read Personalities

How to Write a Speech About the Beach

Fiction Fridays: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

I just finished this (non)fiction book, and I am so glad that multiple trips to Kroger led me to finally buying it. I had seen it a few times, on the end display, down the book aisle, and then finally, there it was, at the checkout counter last week--seeming to stare right at me, daring me not to buy it. I felt like I had to have this book. If this happens to you, be it a magazine, book, new music, movie--BUY IT! There is probably a lesson you need to learn waiting in the words.

The Happiness Project is Gretchen Rubin's year-long journey (I learned that these types of books are called "stunt nonfiction") to become a happier person. She was not depressed (a whole other beast not tackled in these pages) nor was she particularly UN-happy. She just though that she should feel happier, or in higher spirits, on a daily basis because she had a good life. Her biggest fear was that she was letting her pretty wonderful life slip by without really being engaged in every moment and aware of its ordinary wonderfulness.

To combat this fear, Rubin read everything should could about happiness, from great philosophers and thinkers like Benjamin Franklin (using his 13 virtues from his Autobiography to inspire her method) to Saint Therese of Lisieux (her "small things matter" mentor) to author Samuel Johnson ("attain....as much happiness as possible"). She created a Resolutions Chart, much like Franklin's "Virtues Chart," where she would grade herself on her self-created virtues on a daily basis. Instead of trying to be perfect every day, she focused on one "virtue" per month January through November, and then in December, she applied Franklin's daily method to all 11 previous virtues.

The result? Did she magically start skipping everywhere she went? Reach Nirvana? Nah. But she DID become more mindful of how wonderful her life already was and started appreciating it more. She yelled less, got less frustrated, acted more loving, tried new things, and had a better, more optimistic overall attitude. No huge changes were made to her life; instead, small yet very significant realizations hit her that started guided her thoughts. She basically retrained her brain to start thinking in a more lighthearted, positive way. She cut out most complaining, nagging, and just general grumbling which made her happier and more pleasant to be around.

Rubin shows that happiness is a constant cycle. If you are happy, then the people around you will also be happier, which in turn will keep you happy. We all know the "debbie downers" of this world--people who complain it's too hot, too cold, movie wasn't very good, food was just okay, this line is too long, blah blah blah. Complaining sucks the energy and life out of a room, and it is so unattractive just like undercutting, being judgmental, and being condescending. Rubin learned to bite her tongue more and follow the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

To begin your own Happiness Project, Rubin has a website and a toolbox to help you get started. Some readers have decided to do a week, month, months, or year undertaking like Gretchen. For me, I would like to do a 12-week project, mimicking her 12 month journey. When you go to the site at http://www.happinessprojecttoolbox.com/, you will have to create your own list of Personal Commandments, Secrets of Adulthood, and you may conclude with your own Splendid Truths, which Rubin has four of, listed on her website as:

1. To be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
2. One of the best ways to be happy is to make other people happy; one of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
3. The days are long, but the years are short.
4. You're not happy unless you think you're happy. 

At times the quotes and information included from happiness gurus gets a little overwhelming, but reading this book in smaller chunks (no more than a chapter at a time) will help you really absorb the wisdom and keep you from skimming over these parts. This book is 100% worth reading and has the potential to make everyone who reads it just a little bit happier without making huge changes like moving to Hawaii, changing jobs, changing spouses, etc. Like my blog, this book urges people to have "a better everyday." Happiness, here we come!

Tune Thursdays: Dead Confederate

Music Matters: Dead Confederate

Ehow articles:

How to Jack Up an Uneven Floor (Thanks to my husband for the interview and information!)

Junior Primary Writing Assessment Tools

Whatever Wednesdays: Shania Twain's Redbook Interview

"Being betrayed is one of the most valuable lessons life can teach. Now that you are wise to the game, you have the tools to choose your friends more carefully and protest your inner circle from these predators. Wear your scars like a badge. Someone hurt you, you lived through it, and now you can talk about it without rage and revenge in your heart"--Shania Twain

This quote is from her interview with Redbook in the June 2011 issue. I love it because it is so raw, honest, and true. She was doubly crossed--by her ex-husband and manager plus her best friend who had an affair with him--but thanks to this double-crossing, Shania found the love of her life and is living a happier, healthier, more wonderful version of life than she was previously when she thought she was happy.

Sometimes, we just get too complacent and just allow ourselves to drift along in relationships that are no longer good for us instead of seeking new friends, loves, careers, etc. because we think "this is good enough." Good enough never is! Shoot for great in all aspects of your life, and don't let people hurt you or make you feel bad about who you are. No one deserves to treat you badly.

When we are hurt by others, sometimes we act like it is our fault. Did I do something wrong? Are they mad at me? What did I not do? This line of thinking is useless. It's their fault if they are rude, hurtful, underhanded, or judgmental. Sure, people have bad days and we have to give them slack at times, but if the bad behavior and poor treatment become a pattern, it's time to take action. So often, we are afraid to cut the toxicity out of our life. The truth is, we owe it to ourselves to cut out negative, hurtful, neglectful people from our  lives.

If you're realizing that you have let too many people into your "inner circle" that haven't earned the right to be there, or don't deserve to be there anymore, then it's time to do some weeding. By doing so, you will be making room for so many more meaningful, happy, healthy, fun, enjoyable relationships to grow. It worked for me, and it can work for you too.